Response to Article

I read this article in THE BANNER the other day, which is a CRC publication that for some strange reason, Ross and I still receive though we are technically not CRC anymore (don’t tell our grandparents!) The article was about communication, which is something I struggle with. I am not a good communicator. I really struggle with what to say at appropriate times. And sometimes, I am totally fine and everything is fine and the whole world seems fine, and some days, I feel like I just babble or give off the wrong vibe with my tone or just say the wrong thing to the wrong person. Regardless, it’s just really frustrating to walk away from an interaction with someone and feel like you totally blew it. For me, this usually happens like I’m overly nervous (like in a place I’m trying to impress people at) or overly at ease (with people I know well where I forget that certain things should still be censored – you know, like joking at the expense of others or sarcasm).


So the article was about the 5 different ways you can respond to others. You can:

1) Evaluate

2) Instruct

3) Support

4) Probe

5) Understand



For example, the article mentioned that if someone were to say to you, “I’m really tired today”, you could respond in any of the 5 different ways.

1) “Well, if you didn’t stay out so late at night…” (Evaluate)

2) “You should take better care of yourself.” (Instruct)

3) “It’s tough to get going when your energy level is down, isn’t it?” (Support)

4) “Oh? What’s going on? Have you had trouble sleeping?” (Probe)

5) “Hmm… You do look like you are dragging a bit today.” (Understand)



After reading this article, I realize that when I’m nervous or annoyed, I revert almost exclusively to Evaluation and Instruction, which are complete conservation killers and not to mention, plain rude. Argh! Why had I not realized this before? I don’t know why I go there, but I do! I absolutely love articles like this that even if the information being presented isn’t all that difficult to comprehend, it knocks you on the head and you realize something about yourself. I need to be way more into asking questions and understanding. I don’t know if the whole support line is really going to come off genuine for me (the example above? I would have said that, only it would have come off completely sarcastic), but I can manage the other two.

One quote that I read awhile back that stuck with me something along the lines of: To be interesting, you have to be interested. Or in other words, people will find you interesting when you are interested in them. And I think that’s true, and something I need to keep in mind to better my conversational skills!



Article from THE BANNER February 2012, 41.