Lately I've been feeling a little overwhelmed with how good God is. How good he is with the little things that come up in day to day life - beauty and contentment, but even more amazed at the way that God universally 'holds the world in his palm' and how good the ultimate plan is.
I've been thinking of this on the small and grand scale of things.
In small terms, my immediate life. If I could turn back time to last year at this point, I could have never imagined we'd be where we're at. A year ago we were tired, and we were really scared. Law school loans started cashing in at 1,000 dollars a month and there was still no job in sight for Ross. He had driven out to several states at this point for interviews, just to be told months later (sometimes never) that they'd gone with another candidate. Ross was getting depressed and deeply rethinking his decision to go back to school, even when at the time, he felt confident that it was what God wanted him to do. I was tired of teaching. My third year was a mess - I was burned out and checked out. Even though my fourth year was better, that 3rd year still loomed in my mind and I felt just plain - negative. I felt like I was constantly living in future thoughts, upset that Ross wasn't working ("just get ANY job!"), and starting to give up on things. So we were a pretty pitiful couple - our marriage was never in jeopardy, if anything we clung to each other more - but we were sad and starting to lose interest in hope. When you lose hope, you just start to lose everything that might drive you to keep going.
BUT - I feel so blessed that when we started to give up, God didn't. I remember telling people that we just kept trusting in God for a job, but in the back of my mind, I was really questioning God - "I think I still trust in you - but it's getting harder to keep doing so!" When we got that call on March 11 about Ross's job, I felt like this huge hole had opened up in a dark sky and light was finally shining in. It was weird - I actually felt optimistic for the first time in a long, long time. Since March, we've moved into another state - which has been amazing. I didn't know how the whole move would go, but God has placed such comfort in our hearts that this is where we're suppose to be. Cincinnati feels like home. We've finally found a church family - 4 years of looking in Grand Rapids and the first Sunday we're down in Ohio we find the perfect church? What are the chances? Last month, I was looking for a job. I wasn't too upset about not finding one, although I had been close on several interviews and had even been offered one at a bank, but didn't feel it was right. I got a call from a former co-worker about a position in Toledo for an instructional coach/assessment writer for the same company I had worked for before. I didn't seek this position out, I didn't prepare rigorously for the interview - I just felt like this was right. Again - God goes opening up a door. This honestly is my perfect teaching job for this period in my life. Thanks, God, for giving Ross and I the perfect jobs! I am amazed that He has brought us here to do this work, and that he even cares about our everyday occupations.
On the larger scale, I've been reading Jeremiah for my devotions. Jeremiah is really scattered because a lot of the chapters aren't in chronological order, but since I've read Kings and Chronicles and the books leading up to Jeremiah, it's easier to see the chapters in context, but basically - Israel and Judah split up. God chosen people split, and although they each have okay kings at different times in the text, overall - they've completly forgotten the Exodus and how God delivered them from slavery and strife. Even if they do remember, and sometimes they do, they just don't care. As long as life is good - seemingly - they rely on themselves and what they want to do. We give Israel a lot of crap for this, but I see this in myself. When life is easy - I tend to not rely on God as much. Right now in my reading, Babylon is taking over the empire and taking the people into exile; the people have gone a 360 from slavery, freedom and power; back into slavery. At this point - Israel will never possess Jerusalem again. This is it. Jews today are still waiting, fighting, what have you about the holy land and emphasize that they should have possession of it. Their Messiah can't come until they do (which is why they don't accept Jesus as Christ. Literally - Jesus was suppose to be their King and take back Jerusalem for them).
What I guess I'm thinking about is THE story... and how when I look at it as a whole, it flows, it's alive, and God is the director of the movement. Israel was split up, conquered - time and time again until, under Roman rule, Jesus was born and fulfilled the prophesies that God had breathed into normal humans hundreds of years before. Jesus started a new development and Gentiles were accepted into God's plan for his people. Because of the emphasis put on evangelism, Christianity spread - into Europe. Like Israel, Christians split in the 1500s, leading the way for another diaspora into the new world, where people could live without persecution of faith. Which down the line, is where my relatives, coming from the Netherlands could pratice their reformed faith.... So through the hardships - which I shudder when I think about what ancient Israel, Jesus, early Christians, and reformers went through for their beliefs - God had a working plan and the coolest thing is that we are apart of that plan. We exist in that history.
So - I'm amazed. I'm amazed at what God does for me everyday; how he shows me that he has a plan for my life BUT I'm amazed even more at how he has a plan for this world and how I get to be apart of that plan. It's just very humbling to understand how mighty, how majestic, how good God really is.
